If you die in college, do you die in real life?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
