Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
