im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
