My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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