I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
