Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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