4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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