you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
