I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize