i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
