Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
