great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize