I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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