My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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