On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
