so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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