am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
