any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize