That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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