found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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