There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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