i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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