direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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