Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
