My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
