all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
