New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
