I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My ass is underappreciated
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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