Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
two words...techno handjob
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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