can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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