No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
