I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
