Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
