I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
