What a fucking waste of an outfit
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
