it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
