i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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