My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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