do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
This house was built for laser tag.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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