Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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