a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
