Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
