im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Randomize