Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
