Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
