I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
