worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
