Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
