Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
