I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
