you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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