I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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