either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
