If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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