i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
