just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
