Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I checked into jail on foursquare
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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