i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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