its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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