Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
