Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
