I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
