I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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