I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
