I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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