How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
