He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
