At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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