I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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