Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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