i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
