i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
