I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
