I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
