doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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