I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
