Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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