ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
