ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize