okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
