After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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