I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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