so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm always down for nudity.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
