pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I bet he comes in French.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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