After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
