this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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