yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize