The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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